Two tips for those who have been asked to be a pallbearer at a funeral


If you have been asked to act as a pallbearer at an upcoming funeral, you should read over this article.

Call the funeral home as soon as possible if you become sick or injured just before the funeral.

You must not, under any circumstances, attempt to 'soldier on' and perform your pallbearer duties if, for example, you develop back or shoulder pain or start to feel weak as a result of developing the flu or getting a stomach bug. Instead, if you get sick or injured shortly before the funeral, you must call up the funeral home and tell the staff members that you won't be able to do this job.

The reason for this is as follows: If you don't give the staff members at the funeral home a heads up about your illness or injury or sickness and instead try to carry the casket, you could ruin some or all of the funeral. If your back or shoulder hurts, for example, you might reach a point where you simply cannot hold up your part of the casket, which could then affect the other pallbearers' balance and result in the casket swaying dangerously or being dropped. The former could result in any flower sprays that are on the casket sliding off of it and could also startle the deceased's nearby friends and family, whilst the latter could result in these people having to deal with the distress of watching the casket going crashing to the ground and ending up very damaged.

As such, whilst you might feel bad for letting down the deceased's immediate family by backing out of being a pallbearer at the last minute, doing so would be far better than soldiering on, in spite of your sickness or injury, and potentially causing a very upsetting scene. If you call the funeral home as soon as it becomes apparent that you can't do this task, the funeral director should be able to arrange for one of their staff members to take your place.

Ensure that you and the other pallbearers arrive at the funeral home a little bit early.

If possible, you and the other pallbearers should try to get to the funeral home a bit earlier than is actually necessary. The reason for this is as follow: If you get there early, you will have a bit of time to familiarise yourselves with the funeral home's layout. This is important, as when you are carrying the casket out of the funeral home in preparation for the burial, your view of the area around you might be slightly obscured by the casket itself, as well as any other pallbearers that are in front or to the side of you (depending on which part of the casket you end up holding).

If you don't have a good understanding of the funeral home's layout, this might be a bit disorientating and you might, for example, accidentally try to turn the left when all of the other pallbearers are turning right. This could disrupt what is supposed to be the very sombre, quiet and smooth removal of the remains from the funeral home. You can avoid causing this type of embarrassing disruption simply by ensuring that you and the other pallbearers arrive early and spend a few minutes looking around the funeral home and memorising its layout.


30 March 2020

Tips for Writing and Organising Meaningful Funerals

Welcome to my blog. My name is Molly, and a few years ago, I lost my husband to heart disease. He had only just turned fifty, and it wasn't anything we were expecting. Through my intense grief, I had to host and organise a funeral. I wanted to include religious elements from our pasts, but I also wanted to be true to the non-religious but spiritual beliefs of my husband. I think many people are in the same position, and if you are, I want to help you. This blog focuses on making funerals meaningful. It provides tips, ideas, facts and more. I hope it inspires you.